Megan and I are overjoyed to announce that we are 15 weeks pregnant! Megan is due December 5th, and is doing great. After a few weeks of feeling sluggish, she is regaining strength, energy, and is a champion. This news has been so wonderful, and the Lord has laid some things on Megan’s heart.
Please read Megan’s thoughts:
My heart is sad as I just finished reading an article about a family that adopted a child and got pregnant at the same time. What saddens me was what the husband said at the end of the article something like “if we had gotten pregnant the year before, we would not have adopted.” This has weighed heavy on my heart as I see more clearly that when it comes to adoption, many have the mind set that it is a last resort to not being able to have kids. I admit that I once held this belief and it is only because the Lord changed my heart that I see the truth in His word. James 1:27 says “to look after orphans and widows in their distress.” I fear, my friends, that we have read this verse to say look after the orphans only if you cannot have kids of your own.
As many of you know I am not one that “rocks the boat,” but I feel this welling up in the core of who I am, and I cannot keep silent. There are over 147,000,000 orphans that we know of in this world! We need more people to speak up for them. As you all know Nate and I are out to make a dent in that number, even if it is a few. Us adopting Malachi has never been about us not being able to have biological kids, it has been about justice. But as we have said yes to adopt first before having our own, we fall into the stereotype that we are adopting because we can’t have our own.
Well we can have our own, in fact we are having our own… I’m pregnant! We learned in April that our family would be doubling and are filled with excitement. Announcing the news of a new baby is supposed to be happy right? But I find myself at the point of not wanting to tell others. It is not because we are not excited, but because I hate that question that follows more times than not when we share our news. The question that reminds me that we read James 1:27 with our own lenses on. The question that shows me that our hearts do not break for the fatherless, and that as long as people can have children of there own there will always remain millions of orphans. My heart sinks after we share we are pregnant and the first words out of peoples mouths are “so you’re not going to get Malachi?” These words are cutting to the core of who I am.
How could we find such a joyful little boy on the other side of the world and leave him as a prisoner in his own crib? How could we hold the keys to unlock the door to a life of love and belonging, then turn and walk the other way?
Daily I am taken by the things I can’t wait to show him. For a little blond haired boy who has never been outside, I can’t wait to take him out to play. To feel the sun on his face, to take in the deep green of South Dakota, to play in the mud and swim in a pool, to stand in awe of the trees that seem to touch the sky. I laugh thinking about the day he meets our cat, and I cry when I picture him in Nate’s arms as he sings over him. I’m excited for our baby to experience these things too… but it is different. For with Malachi without our yes, he is restricted to the four walls of the orphanage the rest of his life.
I believe with all my heart that the Lord is on the move for the orphans. Adoption has been on His heart from the beginning of time. Not only has he used the fatherless, like Moses and Ester, to save his chosen people, but He calls us by name to be adopted as His sons and daughters. Not only did God adopt when He had His own son, but He gave up His son to finalize our adoption!
Thank you Lord for your example. I say yes to both biological and adopted children, for that is the example you have shown us. I thank you Lord that even though we are slow to understand your heart for the fatherless, you are not slow in keeping your promise. For you are “a father to the fatherless,” and it is You who “sets the lonely in families.” (Psalm 68:5-6)